To save you, I'd do anything
by gallifreyan.hats
Summary: Clara has arrived at her final hour. Her death is imminent. But where do the lies stop? (Whouffaldi)
1. Remember me, for I am lost

Clara. The name that held the image of what he needed most in the Universe: his impossible girl. Oh, she was so beautiful, both inside and out. She kept him in line; she was the skeptic towards his wild mind; she was.. what he needed, what he wanted. He wished he had had the chance to say goodbye. But that opportunity was gone now. No second chances, no going back in time to save her precious soul. She was precious to him in a way, not like a diamond ring or a ring that rules all, but rather a light that guided and loved him. At least that's what she told him.

 _"Clara, don't do this." The Doctor held out his hand towards Clara, his eyes betraying his emotions on edge. Nothing else, no one else, could make or even see him like this. Only Clara had the permission to stare into his dark and deep soul._

 _Clara looked at him with those big, brown eyes. They always made him feel a certain emotion he couldn't understand yet. He never would understand them again after this._

 _Clouds of smoke from burning fire whooshed up from behind buildings; fire engulfed the entire world, almost. People were screaming, panicking; they ran from a monster, the monster that was the Raven. Everything was crumbling to dust, causing the world to become alike to a desert._

 _Clara seemed to plead with the Doctor. He had to understand that sometimes, sacrifices must be made. "I have to. It wants me._ I _am what the Raven wants," she pointed at herself._

 _Clara had never seen the Doctor cry before. Not in this incarnation. But there he was, his love and passion all pouring out like rain upon a cloudy, gloomy day._

 _He cupped his right hand on her face, "Clara." She put her left hand on his arm, reaching to grab his hand. He quickly wothdrew and wiped his face quickly, attempting to cover any tears._

 _"Doctor - before I go, I just.. " She paused and let out a tear, her face obviously very distraught," I just want you to know.. I had the best times of my life with you. And there's something.. something I've kept to myself, all these years."_

 _The creaking of metal was heard as building and road signs crashed, weighed down by the soot and fire._

 _Tje Doctor stared into Clara's eyes. They were so beautiful. How he could he live without them?_

 _"Yes, what is it?" He took hold of Clara's hand at this point. They were best friends, the bestest of friends._

 _She appeared nervous, then remembered that she was about to die anyway, "I've.. Well, I'll just say it straight: I love you."_

 _"I love you too, Clara." He said it like it was something they spoke about all the time._

 _"No, Doctor - not in that way. I mean it in a romantic way. I love you." She glanced at their hands, still holding onto her life._

 _The Doctor didn't know how to respond. She was about to give her life to save the world, and all he could do was just stand there, his feet glued to the ground._

 _"Clara, I.." Did he love her back? Did he even know himself well enough to decide his answer?_

 _He embraced her in a hug, his chin resting against the top of Clara's head. "I don't know what to say." He kissed her forehead as they separated._

 _Clara looked at him sadly. He didn't want to lie to her, but at the same time he wanted to make her feel better._

 _She took a piece of paper from her coat pocket and placed it in the Doctor's jacket. "I have to go now." She wiped a tear with her sleeve and sniffed. "There's not much time left."_

 _No regrets, she thought. She put her hands on his face, staring into his icy blue eyes once more._

 _"Clara Oswald. My impossible girl." He put his hand on her hands, bringing them down to her side. It's now or never, he thought._

 _He kissed her. It was a delicate and soft kiss; it only lasted for a mere 10 seconds._

 _She hugged him one last time. They still held hands. Her face was burrowed into his old sweater, that familiar smell comforting Clara before her final hour._

 _She slowly backed away, letting go of his long fingers. She stepped towards her ending destination._

 _"Goodbye, Clara. There will never be another you, and I hope you know that." He laughed sadly, his eyes bloodshot from crying._

 _As she was walking away, she turned her head back and said for the last time, "Run you clever boy. And remember me."_

 _Her boots rang on the rock of the cave she entered, where the Raven awaited her oblivion._

* * *

 **A/N**

I know the Doctor in this regeneration has a lack of empathy, but I have this headcanon that he will cry only for Clara. And only when she leaves.

I heard that there's a possibility that Clara might leave in the episode Face the Raven, so I included the Raven as the villain in this story.

I wrote this in about an hour or somewhere around that. I'I've started on a sequel to this, and I'll post it tomorrow probably. It involves my take on how the Doctor will react (depression and whatnot) after the incident. Also that piece of paper she gave him..


	2. Run, you clever man

A/N

Disclaimer: BBC owns Doctor Who, not me!

Also, warning: this has mentions of suicide ish kind of stuff. It's just what the Doctor is thinking about, but I'm just letting you know.

The doors of the TARDIS creaked open. Slowly, he trekked to the console, his feet shuffling the metal floor. There were mud and blood stains all over his clothes, heavy as his hearts. His hearts were saturated with guilt, sorrow, the pain of all that had happened. His companion had left him again. It reminded him of Adric, who perished to save the world from the Cybermen. That was almost 1500 years ago now. Yet even more pain attacked him from the inside out, stealing all the strength he had, suffocating him. Even with his Time Lord physiology, he couldn't take all of this burden anymore.

He typed in something on the navigation system. He looked up at the column above the console as he pushed the lever, watching as the TARDIS began to dematerialize. He didn't care where the ship landed, or what happened to himself. He wouldn't care if he died right now.

No one was there to catch if he fell. Not anymore. And perhaps never again. Maybe.. maybe a Time Lord lives too long.. much too long.

He stepped through the corridors, his footsteps ringing. Finally, a door appeared to his right. He had arrived at Clara's room.

He debated whether he should go in or not; he eventually settled on the former. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. Exhaling, he walked over the treshold and opened his eyes.

Her room was breathtaking. On the ceiling, there was a window to the outside Universe, revealing wherever the TARDIS had landed. Currently there was an exciting show of star clusters and the birth of new star systems: the Horsehead nebula.

He sat on her bed, still unmade. It had intricate designs of red, brown, and gold on the blankets that matched the rich brown color of the bed posts. There was a tightly spiralled staircase that led to a small second level that was lined with bookshelves.

Just looking at it all, remembering her.. The smell of her sweet perfume and shampoo that still lingered among her things..

His shoulders began to shake ever so slightly as he covered his face with his hands. After a moment, he remembered something. He slid his hands up his face and through his hair. He exhaled.

He reached into his coat pocket with his trembling fingers, scared at what he might find. He took out a crumpled bit folded piece of paper. He opened it slowly, and a tear fell from his chin to combine with Clara's tears that were previously on the letter. It read:

 _Dear Doctor,_

 _If you are reading this right now, then I am dead. I know this is going to be tough; not for me, but for you._

 _I'll miss you too. I must have told you something very important before I went, and believe me, I still stand with that statement. I'll miss those mornings where you'd bring me coffee and we would talk about our adventures (Well, mostly it was you trying to impress me with your talk of planets and tales of your childhood). I think I'll miss that an awful lot._

 _But most of all, I'll miss you, daft old man. I know you've lost a lot at this point, but please remember that I did not die in vain. I died to save the world, to save_ you. _Because you're my best friend, and I'd do anything for you._

 _You are so, so precious to me. And I want you to remember that. You are important. You have to keep moving on, Doctor; keep on saving planets and civilisations; go find your home. There's still so much to be done._

 _Goodbye, Doctor. Run you clever man, and remember me._

He dropped the letter on her bed and ran out of her bedroom and towards the console room. She had written in her last words: _go find your home._ If there was any hope, anything at all left in the Universe to urge him to continue living on, it was this.

The Doctor turned on the navigation computer. Surprisingly, and somehow almost.. magical, he was near the coordinates of where Gallifrey used to orbit its two stars. He remembered now. He remembered saving his home.

He looked straight at the computer screen, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Yes, he remembered saving it 12 times, but not 13. If he could only recall this right now, in this place and time, then this must be the exact moment where it all happens.

There it was: Gallifrey. He performed the correct maneuvers, just like he remembered. Of course, it vanished again, but he knew what to do. There were accounts claiming the planet had mysteriously appeared again thousands of years in the future.

The TARDIS began wheezing once more, its columns moving. Eventually it stopped, and the Doctor knew it had materialized somewhere.

He ran over to the doors, but hesitated. Is this even real? he thought. Clara had implied that she believed, maybe even knew, that he would come home again. He had to trust in her.

The doors made that familiar creaking noise as they revealed reddish light from the outside. He opened the door completely, looking down at first to glance at the red grass. His eyes and head moved upward to see the glaring sunsets of a binary star system, silhouetting Mount Cadon, but at the same time causing it to glow.

There is and was and will always be hope, he thought to himself. He was home.

 **A/N**

It is kind of a sad story, but it does at least have a happy ending. There's also a sort of message I tried to imply: there is always hope. Like the Eleventh Doctor says, "My experience is that there is, you know, surprisingly, always hope." It's more than just about the show; it applies to life experiences, I think, as well.


End file.
